See, enclosed vehicles do cause dain bramage.
So I’m riding to work yesterday and this fucking moron...er, I mean, nice gentleman...pulls out of the Staples parking lot (chirping his tires in the process) and attempts to insert his Dodge Magnum(TM)* in me.
I executed the official Fucking Moron Inattentive But Not Intentionally Homicidal Motorist Avoidance Maneuver (MSF calls it a “Swerve”) and let him have 125dB of Fiamm music (there was some in-helmet cursing and questioning of said Dodge owner’s parentage, sexuality and sentience as well). Just another day of commuting in an urban environment.What made this particular incident stick in my mind was what the fucking moron...er, nice gentleman said when he pulled up beside me at the next stoplight. “You should be more careful on that thing, I almost hit you.”
I sat on that for half a second or so, absorbing the sad irony of his statement. Then replied “You almost hit me, and I should be more careful? How does that follow?”
The confusion on his face as he tried to grasp my question lasted longer than the red light so I don’t know if he ever formulated a response - or even understood what I meant. But I bet he later told the story of the nutjob on a bike (who, like all motorcyclists, must certainly have a death wish) that almost scratched up his shiny car by wantonly occupying the space that he wanted to occupy.I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s just too goddam easy to get a driver’s license in the US.
*A station wagon with fat tires and a Hemi is still a station wagon, dude.
I am glad you are unscathed. Let's be honest here there is a pretty big group of people who drive without licenses (I personally know three). No matter how tough the licensing becomes people will still drive. I agree the licensing needs to be tougher, but we need to implement a law where if you get caught without proper license/insurance you are executed on the side of the road and left with a sign saying why.
ReplyDeleteComet
Comet,
ReplyDeleteIf the general level of competence were raised (considerably, I hope) then the incompetents would stand out more as incompetents and could be more easily rounded up. I bet we could have them all culled from the herd within a couple of years.
There will come a day when electro-conductivity tests will determine how many brain cell connections a person actually has and where they're actually connected. People who lack common sense and the capacity to develop it may then face a tough choice (will it be ethical to give them one?):
ReplyDelete1) undergo brain modification -- "brain cell addition"
2) exhile
or
3) castration
And if it comes to that, I bet that many will really have to ponder their answers.
Mmm... math:
ReplyDelete(Comet's Idea + My Idea) x (David's Idea) = Eugenics
Um, guys... I think we may be on the wrong track with this in a "not abandoning our essential humanity" kind of way.
In spite of the undoubted effectiveness of our equation.
I'm glad you dodged the bullet. So to speak.
ReplyDeleteI got hit on a 50CC vespa by a delightful woman who spied a parking spot on the other side of a 6-lane thoroughfare during rush hour. she sent me skidding across the 3 oncoming lanes. I walked away, my poor vespa was smooshed.
At least she didn't have the gaul to suggest that I was the one that needed to be more careful.
Glad you're ok, dude.
Do unto others then split.
ReplyDeletewell, Summer is comin up and you can make up for all the lax. Yosemite was pretty and all twisties from Sequoia till Yosemite. I'm thinking of a long summer ride. maybe till montana, canada and back. someday.. someday..
ReplyDelete